Okay, I hate Seth MacFarlane’s life, and this image is apparently from American Dad? But fuck this because it implies that he somehow missed an opportunity, or lacked the foresight…? But sure, he didn’t invent Peanut Butter because the Aztecs did that like four centuries earlier and the patent was filed like before he even worked with peanuts? And of course he had his own recipe, not only for Peanut Butter, but for Peanut-milk based butter too, and a billion more. With the Peanut (and the Sweet Potato and Pecan) he invented:
- Hundreds recipes, including chocolate covered peanuts, various meat-substitutes, and instant coffee.
- Countless medicinal and cosmetic uses including dandruff cures, pomades, lotions, shaving cream, soap, tuberculosis medication, etc.
- Over 100 dyes, inks and paints, Gasoline, Linoleum, glues, fuels, wood fillers, papers, plastics, synthetic cotton and silks, insulation boards, etc.
And this is all in addition to Carver being a total Renaissance man and just all around amazing, kind-hearted guy. He studied painting and piano with hopes of being a teacher, but one of his professors noted how often he painted plant life and suggested he study botany. He got his BS from Iowa State, where he kicked so much ass that they asked him to stay on as a permanent faculty member and earn his Masters (which he did in 1896). During his time there he discovered two new fungi, and made break-through discoveries in crop rotation and restoring nitrogen into depleted soil by introducing Peanut crops. He was approached by Booker T. Washington to teach at the Tuskegee Institute, where he stayed for the remainder of his career, helping poor rural farmers and former slaves, and almost single-handedly saving agriculture in the South.
He did his job a little too well and soon there was an ABUNDANCE of peanuts. So he locked himself away in his Laboratory to discover their many uses, and by 1938 Peanut crops yielded $200 million dollars a year for the US. He only patented 3 of his inventions however, cause he really didn’t give a shit about the money stating, “It is not the style of clothes one wears, neither the kind of automobile one drives, nor the amount of money one has in the bank that counts. These mean nothing. It is simply service that measures success.” Gandhi, Roosevelt, FDR, Henry Ford, and the Prince of Sweden all sought his knowledge at one point, and he gave it because he was an amazing badass.
Also, I learned how amazing he was after playing Mario’s Time Machine when I was ten. I highly recommend that over any Seth MacFarlane show. Or you know, a book. Either one.